Soccer Parent Burnout (SPB)

What causes parents of youth soccer players to feel bunt out? or is there any such thing as soccer parents' being burnt out? Well I would like to explore a few symptoms that could be diagnosed as SPB (Soccer Parent Burnout).

A lot of kids start playing house league soccer at the tender age of four. For the next four years around eight is when some kids look to take their soccer to the next level... Rep. We know not all kids are interested in rep soccer some just want to have fun and stay in house league or make the jump to rep later on in a few years. In either case there has been one consistent supporter or drive behind theses kids soccer choices and that's the parent most of the time.

Parents that find that their child has no interest in playing competitive soccer (rep) at an early age are released of unfulfilled expectations. I believe unfulfilled expectation is the root cause of SPB brought on by either parent, player or coach / club. Parents that are excused from ascending to competitive soccer don't have to go through the constant drama associated  with climbing the proverbial ladder of taking their child to the next level.

The expectations and demands of having your child continue to develop and take their game to the next level  season into season can play havoc on parents mind set. Are we on the right team, is this the best coach, maybe we should switch teams, why is my child not playing more minutes etc etc. Also as a child reaches adolescences and starts expressing them selves they to will come with their own set of expectations that will require parents attention.
 
 Here is a small list of other reason why SPB could be possible.

Focus on winning
 Playing on top level teams
Lack of finial support
Child's social adaption
Team practices are to far
Bad chemistry on the team
Coach's inability to communicate
To many team tryouts

Now, you could probably add to this list... why not... go ahead. It would be interesting to here what you have to say on the causes of  SPB. 

I've noticed soccer parents that have been around me over the years attitude change . The biggest shift in their attitude I would say is when their child turned 14 years old. Its like a light bulb went off in their head and the reality of their child's soccer situation has now become a epic concern. What is this concern, is this a symptom of SPB?

Youth Player Burnout

There are two area's that are visibly challenging in youth soccer but, not talked about very much. For the next two weeks I will be taking a  look at what burnout looks like in grass roots soccer for players and parents.

From http://educatedsportsparent.com/athlete-burnout an ideal article that gives you a good overview of the back ground that causes athlete burnout.

There are three main theories about how athletes become burned out. One possible explanation has to do with excessive stress and pressure (1). Constant pressure to win, train and perform could lead to mental and physical exhaustion and stress, leading to burnout. A second possible cause is the feeling of entrapment (1). The athlete who experiences feelings of entrapment has invested a lot of time and energy into the sport but does not experience any rewards from participation or enjoyment in the sport. The costs begin to outweigh the benefits, and they will eventually burnout and drop out. A final theory to explain burnout involves the issue of empowerment (1). Sociologist Jay Coakley proposed the idea that the structure of organized, competitive youth sports becomes controlling. It controls the identity of participants and controls their lives, leaving them feeling disempowered. Coakley theorizes that a desire for personal control over one’s life is a possible cause of burnout in youth sports.

Looking back I can honestly say... I got very lucky my daughter never quit soccer. I'm not saying I'm out of the woods but, what I'm starting to see is her enjoying playing soccer again at age 15. I believe its easy in this North American soccer environment for a child soccer player to feel burnout. The enthusiasm on scoring and winning games at an early stage takes away from players having fun and making mistakes that is critical for  growth. Its easy to to get wrapped up in the mediate success of winning games, yearning for our egos to be polished and forgo what players really need to develop.

I push my daughter to focus, train harder and more often, she did and one day she told me she quit. Over a two year span 11 and 12yrs she quit several times and always came back. Most of the time she quit because I challenge her to improve on her soccer skills and she felt like she was not getting it. other times she would quit just to get a rouse out of me and I can honestly say... at first it shook me up but, when I accepted her not playing soccer any more she stopped saying "I quit".

What I've realized is there is a happy medium to avoiding youth soccer burnout and that is "understand your child's personality and don't focus so much on winning than having fun".

Next Level U16

You will always here from time to time coaches and trainers saying in order to take players game to the next level you must or I want to take you to xyz. There are so many factors and avenues for players to reach their true potential. However, you will always here me talk about "foundation" that needs to be set.

Come to think about it....I should blog on this topic of foundation in the next few weeks. The foundation I'm talking about is early youth development (grass roots soccer). You see, between the age 7 - 12 is thee most critical years for developing an soccer athletes true potential. How high a soccer player can go depends on a  great deal on how much quality time was invested in their technical development. what I'm saying isn't written in stone, you can take a year on or off the development but a good concrete, bottom level, grass roots soccer development plan should last 5 years.

I'm going to jump to the next level in soccer for girls heading into U16. What I'm talking about doesn't only apply to girls guys to can listen in and take something away from this blog post. The reason I'm jumping to U16 is one, my daughter is turning 16 in 2013 and two, there are allot of parents asking questions and not sure where their daughter supposed to be at this age or should be focusing on. Then again I've spoken to a lot of parents and they are very content with their daughter kicking the ball out of bounds every time they feel pressure.

So, what should a U16 girl soccer player in Canada be focusing on? "Collage and University exposure, showcase tournaments and marketing their soccer profile".

I know not all girls are interested in taking their soccer skills to the next level but, they might be considering a career in the sport industry. Exposure, exposure and exposure to colleges and their recruiters is what clubs and teams should be planning around their U16 girl players. U17 and U18 is not as mindful as U16 since the girls at those ages will not develop any substantial technical core competency skills. They will always develop more skills as they move on to post secondary education however, those skills will be more in line with  complimentary skills. What most collage recruiters will be considering at great length when issuing scholarships is core soccer skill, athletic potential and academic standard. 

Is your Club, Coach and Team (CCT) focusing on showcasing or winning division and tournaments?

Off - Season Youth Training

When teams are in the Off -season youth soccer players should be given the opportunity to wind down, take some pressure of their joints and practice on developing their technical skills. I question teams that take their players directly into a competitive indoor league (6-7 months) without the opportunity  to recover and regenerate. 

I was one of those coaches at the beginning of my coaching career that engaged in two competitive seasons (Summer and Winter) mainly because, I was naive, provided with bad advice and I followed what everyone else was doing. However, I improved my coaching knowledge and stopped making decisions from a place of fear. In 2011 I allowed my daughter to go through a light off season (zero games), then head into an active and focused pre-season this improved her competitive season and it showed through her rejuvenation in practices and games. 

While browsing the internet on this Off season training post I found this very informative document prepared by: Christian Lavers, USSF “A” License, Region II Girls ODP Staff

A Model Training Program 

 for U16 – U19 Elite Youth Soccer Players in the United States

Christian outlined the importance of identifying season requirements... 

"Off-season training should not begin until the athletes have had time to recover physically, mentally, and emotionally from the tolls of the competitive season".

 What do you think is off -season training... is it necessary or is it age specific only.   

Top Ten Attitude And Attributes

Top Ten Attitude And Attributes for a Youth Soccer Player (YSP)

Becoming a professional soccer player (athlete) takes dedication, commitment, and sacrifice. The more you decide to take on a career as a soccer player the more you will have to give up – as of a regular (school) youth social life. However, the passion and pursuit of soccer indulgent takes on a social fulfillment beyond any past teen sacrifices, to establishing an admirable social purpose, educational endowments and worldly travels.

The youth girls that have the fortitude to seek out Renegades of Girls Soccer’s scrimmage and skill sessions have aspirations of success and are willing to take on new challenges with aims of propelling them ahead of their competition.

These girls have the following top ten (10) characteristics (attitude and attribute) commonly found in most woman’s professional soccer players. There are many more characteristics that could be added to this list some are reliant and will mature over the course of time.

Attitudes are generally positive or negative views of a person, place, thing, or event— this is often referred to as the attitude objective.

Attitudes
Positive	Negative
Accepts Change	Rejects Change
Courageous	Fearful
Decisive	Indecisive
Devoted	Uncommitted
Confidence in one self	Lack of confidence in self
Focused	Scattered
Hard-working	Lazy
Humble	Arrogant
Self-disciplined	Indulgent
Work-oriented	Convenience First

Attribute is a characteristic of an object (person, thing, etc.) Attributes are closely related to variables.

Attributes
Positive	Negative
Adventurous	Conventional
Aware of opportunities	Ignorant of opportunities
Serious	Silly, trivial, petty
High Self -esteem	Low confidence
Motivated	Unmotivated
Mentally Tough	Weak Minded
Physically strong	Physically Weak
Seeks Improvement	Self-satisfied
Creative - Open mined	Closed Minded
Sets Goals	No Goals

The question is, can a person adjust their attitude and obtain the right attributes that would see them become a professional athlete  and if they could where would be the best place for them to start.

Renegades Of Girls Soccer (ROGS) todate

 Two years ago when I conceived Renegades Of Girls Soccer (ROGS) -  my thought was to create a competitive and fun soccer scrimmage sessions with other girls at the same level and age (U13) as my daughter. This way my daughter and other like minded girls would be able to increase their technical speed, instinctive play and competitive understanding in small zone scrimmages . "A Barcelona style of soccer with attitude and confidence".

ROGS to date has not lived up to its full intention and attracted the players or parents that fully understand the importance of development and game transitional soccer. Also, player's interested in attending  ROGS sessions throughout that last few years was made difficult due to conflicting team scheduled game and practice times. As well, my interaction with parents demonstrated to me they reservedly believe that their kids are getting the development and attention required from their club team to take them to the next level.

ROGS over all intention to date has not changed and grass roots soccer development remains the core of its purpose.

Reply...What do you recommend youth players do if their team gets relegated?”

In reply to Jason Devos's blog post click to read reply, "What do you recommend youth players do if their team gets relegated?”

As I replied to the post a lot of questions came up, even as I read one of the other comments too the complexity is deep. I realized how in depth and complicated a perceived simple decision could impact a youth soccer players future growth. Reflecting back on the decision I've made based on wanting my daughter to take up soccer and be the best she can be. I'm not going to tell that story right now, however parents with kids before post LTPD (Long Term Player Development) I tip my hat off to them. They had to trust and fork over $$$dollars into a youth development system that had no accountability and was full of favoritism. Favoritism will always exist however it will be harder to be at the account of a youth player's development drive and talent. 

Are there grass roots soccer complexities that I'm not seeing? I would love to here from people on what they are seeing.

Has the Train Left the Station

Not every soccer player has the same body type or natural athletic ability however, when it comes to developing your technical soccer skills  and becoming the best player possible there are noticeable levels of progression (age) that apply to every player girl or boy. Each age group progression identifies where a player should be as well as what skill they should of obtained. Prematurely jumping to far or bypassing the early critical years (8 - 12 yrs) of you technical soccer development is complexly irreversible. Staying true and focused on developing ball control, touches, balance, turns and other valuable technical field skills required is the major key to soccer success. Once a younger player masters the basics their fun level increases ten fold, they get constant offers from top tier teams at the other spectrum other players that mainly focused on scoring goals and winning are now starting to struggle with their basic fundamental control and get discouraged.

 Don't get me wrong you can still train and develop technical skill at age 12 and up but, the vital mussel to memory touches on the ball pays big dividends moving forward at a younger age group.

A good example is my daughter -  a good player at the SRSL elite and OYSL (u97) level. She has a good chance in 2013 to be rewarded with a Provincial tryout. However, what if she had just focused on her technical soccer skills at the onset... for the first five years and was assessed over that time to make sure she was on the right path. Has her train left the station? I would say no. Is she on it? I would say no. I've witnessed (at no fault of the player and its quite sad) when a train leaves the station and the player is not on it. okay so, the metaphor her is "train" means "opportunity" and "station" means "event in time".

Missed opportunities don't have to be repeated. Learning from passed experiences can only strengthen future possibilities. Renegades Of Girls Soccer is taking its knowledge on the road to share, educate, assess and empower future competitive soccer players in the range of 8-12yrs. The players in the age group 13-15yrs would be looked at from a different perspective of assessment. Now players 16-18yrs this is what I call the "payoff" are you ready or do you need to fine tune some areas of your soccer arsenal.

Delayed gratification over instant gratification is what a parent and player should embrace as long as possible at least to age (12yrs) twelve. I would even say "always work on improving your technical skill, speed and control way into adulthood". Closing your eyes on your daughters development and hoping all works out for the best is like playing the Loto and hoping your (daughters) is one of the winners.Yes, There are winners but, there are also lots of looser too.

My approach is to empower and create winners "high potential soccer players". Be proactive...doing an independent assessment out side of your club and team and this will give you a real unbiased and fair opinion of where your child is with their soccer level and skill.

I have made my self available for those parents (in competitive soccer or thinking of entering) that are interested in getting an one hour assessment done.  You will receive a filled out emailed assessment form for your daughter, verbal feedback, advice and if requested referrals to specific improvement areas.

I feel in Canada something is missing when it comes to grass roots soccer development - am I wrong? let me know through post feedback and if your interested in booking an assessment contact me at db.donbailey21@gmail.com or call 416.788.1920.